by Graham, as told on the Story Partners Podcast
At the start of the year 2000, I found myself wanting to end my life.
My life had completely crumbled around me. I had lost everything through some terrible circumstances. I was very depressed. I was in a terrible emotional place. I was such a hard-hearted man. In my life, I would never, ever have considered God, certainly not Jesus. I thought He was a joke. I truly believed He didn’t have anything good to offer me or my life. One day, I was in someone’s house, just chatting away, when I happened to look up and noticed a postcard. I realized it was an invitation to an event. As I read the invitation—the date and the time—I heard an audible voice in my heart say, “You’ve got to be at this.”
I was shocked. I remember thinking, “This is crazy.”
About a week later, I was back at this same person’s house, and the postcard was still there. I looked up and noticed it again, and for the second time I heard the voice say, “You’ve got to be at this.”
It happened a third time a few days later. The postcard was still there, and again the voice spoke to me. By then, I knew—like I had never known anything in my life—that I had to be at whatever this was. I had no idea what it was going to be. So I picked up the postcard and took it with me.
The event was on April 27th, 2000. I went along, just like the voice had told me. I walked into the back of this big room—an auditorium—and there was clearly an event already happening. It was a church that had put it on. I went and sat in the very back row. I didn’t want to speak to anyone.
Before the event officially started, music was playing through the speakers—songs about Jesus. I sat there thinking, What on earth has Jesus got to do with anything? This must be a joke. Why am I here? I genuinely couldn’t understand it.
As they began to worship God and sing about Jesus, something unexpected happened. I began to weep. I began to cry.
This love descended upon my head. The best way I can describe it is like a globe—a sphere—surrounding my head and the tops of my shoulders. At one point, I lifted my hands up near my head and touched it. I touched the love of heaven. Even now, when I recount this story, I can still feel it on my fingertips. I was crying so much that my jeans were soaking wet with tears.
As I wept, with these songs about Jesus filling the air all around me, the voice spoke again. It said, “I’m dealing with everything you’ve ever done. I’m forgiving it, and I’m restoring you.”
Then it said, “Everything that’s ever been done to you—I’m healing it. I’m putting you right.”
Then the voice said something that changed everything: “I want you.”
I was still on my knees when I finally spoke back. I said, “But who are You?”
The voice answered, “I’m Jesus.”
I said, “Well, I want You but I don’t understand how to have You.” I had never encountered anything like this before. All I knew was that, in that moment, my life was being transformed.
Looking back, I believe God had to allow everything in my life to be stripped away before I would hear His voice and answer His call. I had met Jesus. I had encountered Jesus. And I knew, without a doubt, that I had to be His.
I ran to the front of the room that night to give my life—to ask God to receive me as His. And on April 27th, 2000, my entire life changed.
